Your world was torn apart just like mine. That’s why it affected me so much. I’d spent months hating the man who killed Will. In my mind, I made him into some kind of monster. Then I met you, and you were such a gentleman I even felt sorry for you. Can you imagine my horror when I found out the focus of my hatred had been the man I’d welcomed to my bed?’ Paul didn’t answer, even two years later he was still ashamed. ‘I put those things behind me, or at least I thought I had. Then I got your phone and saw the message. I loved Will, but I never really understood him. It was like I’d been living a lie for seventeen years.’ ‘That’s a feeling I know only too well.’ ‘Yes, I suppose it is.’ They walked on away from the house and its manicured lawns. He showed her the farm and told her about the food they produced. On the way back he took her to see the new gymnasium and told her the story of how it came about. Maria looked at the steel frame and half constructed walls. She imagined. Somehow she tried to understand me . Never becoming too tired to soothe me with her consoling words . Unfortunately I had a lot of troubles to forge Friendships later on in school . So after a while I just gave in to my destiny and grew up to be a loner . Mama observed this all the time through . She knew that I hated my Father . Because I barely spoke to him or spent time with him together while beeing off from school on the Weekends . I focused all my attention into the Bodybuilding . It felt too easy for me to endure the pain , while my Body kept changing . I guess I had to thank my father for the hittings . They made me very resistent to the suffering one had to go through in order to excercise . As my Body started to change fro m slim into muscular . The results showed very fast . I lived that Sport like an addiction . All I did was entering the Fitness centre after finishing school . I embraced that kind of lifestyle . However I noticed the way my mother started looking at me ..
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